


A Predetermined Dinner

by caprigender



Series: Just a fascinating, unsettling kind of man [4]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-24
Updated: 2019-08-24
Packaged: 2020-09-25 22:09:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,569
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20378923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/caprigender/pseuds/caprigender
Summary: A recently exiled sylvan meets someone they were apparently destined to meet. Destined couriers are the seer’s email





	A Predetermined Dinner

Summer W— was doing very well for a person with no money and no food exiled on an alien planet for the rest of her foreseeable future. That is to say, she was hungry and tired and cold and cranky and sick to death of hitching rides from strangers and the warm lights and smells of the greasy 24 hour diner called to her like a siren song. She’d really heard a chorus of sirens singing once, but that had been another lifetime ago. Bygones had to be left that way and there was no use dwelling on past lives and past mistakes when there was no changing the present. And in the present, all that mattered was the growling of her stomach and the faint scrapings of malaise that stuck to the corners of her mind like tar residues.

The door jingled as she walked in. She meant to scrape up all her resolve and ask if she could trade a night of dishes for one good solid meal, but she couldn’t quite think of the right words. There wasn’t anyone there to ask, anyways and Summer stood awkwardly in the receiving area of an empty restaurant, waiting for the cue she seemed to have missed. The speakers in the ceiling droned with unfamiliar crackling music and she couldn’t tell if it was a technical problem or an artist decision. She thought she should maybe turn around and go.

“Hold on and I’ll be right with you, hon,” yelled a voice from the back of the restaurant. A smiling face leaned out from behind a set of stainless steel doors. Summer froze in place, unsure whether to stay or run. The smiling woman returned and walked over to her, trapped in the snare of polite social interaction. “Just one today?”

“I-uh, actually-“ Summer stammered.

The hostess’ eyes lit up, “oh now hang on, are you here to meet someone? W— party?”

Summer flinched at the use of her last name. She didn’t know what to say. “I’m- I’m Summer W—.”

“Wonderful! Well then if you’ll just follow me, I’ve got your table ready right over here.”

Summer followed her. It was just strange enough that she could do nothing else. It was just familiar enough that it was the only option. If she wasn’t holding tight to a known script then what did she have? A backpack of essentials, the outfit she wore, and an enchanted headband that kept people from running away screaming when they saw her.

The woman led her back into the diner. Deep into the rows of vinyl covered chairs and wood grain tables with chipping varnish, until they ended at a booth tucked into a corner. It was the only occupied table this late at night and for just a moment the shape sitting across from Summer’s spot looked more like a trick of the light than an actual person. It looked up and the fluorescents glinted off a pair of enormous red eyes.

The server (her name tag said Yasmin but her friends all called her Mina and it always took her a moment to respond to the full name) stood a healthy distance away from the shadowy figure. “Can I get you two started with anything to drink?”

The shadow’s face resolved into something much more human: a man with stretched features and a pair of enormous reflective sunglasses. “We’ll have two waters, a raspberry lemonade, and a banana milkshake.”

Summer stood by the booth with a sinking feeling in her stomach. A strange conversation she’d had in Sylvain was crystalizing in her memory. She didn’t like what that meant. Mina glanced at her with an unspoken question. “You sure that’s what you want, honey?” Summer nodded and took a seat. No point in fighting it. This was what she was already going to do anyways. Clearly.

“Alright then, why don’t you two have a look over the menu and I’ll be right back with those drinks.” The man thanked her and turned back to stare at Summer.

Summer didn’t like clairvoyants. She knew they were an important part of Sylvan infrastructure. She knew a skilled and properly trained seer could prevent thousands of accidents and hundreds of fatalities if properly supported. Hell, her own childhood home had been saved from a roof collapse by a clairvoyant who specialized in structural integrity. She knew seers had important jobs, she knew that. It didn’t matter. They were still weird and uncomfortable to be around and Summer didn’t like them.

“Are you paying?

“Wisconsin.”

“What?” 

“I’m sorry? Oh, yes, yes, of course I’ll be paying for your meal, miss W—,” he smiled at her and Summer guessed it was meant to be warm and inviting. She felt neither warm nor invited, but she wasn’t going to turn down a free meal. She peeled the vinyl of the menu off the vinyl of the table and began skimming through the entree options.

“So, you already-“

“Yes, but you might want to consider getting a wrap instead. It’s much easier to transport the leftovers.”

“Yeah well I-“

“Don’t think there will be leftovers. Yes I know. But there will be and you might as well try to make them portable.”

Summer glared at him.

Mina emerged with a tray of drinks. Two waters, a raspberry lemonade, and a banana milkshake. Summer wondered what would happen if she snatched up the milkshake instead. You could catch a seer off guard sometimes if you behaved randomly enough. It might be worth it just to see this guy shaken up. Summer took the lemonade. Maybe if she’d liked banana more. Maybe if he hadn’t offered to pay for her food.

“Are you two ready to order?”

A curious eyebrow peeked over a lense of the sunglasses. “You mind?”

Summer tossed down the menu. “Sure, go ahead. Since you know already.”

“We’ll have the chicken farmers breakfast, spaghetti and meatballs, four eggs a la carte, and two lime jellos.”

Mina nodded, her sweet Americana diner smile barely wrinkled with concern. “Alright and how would-“

“Sunny side up, thank you.”

“Excellent, I’ll have that right out for you in just a bit.”

Summer waited for her to walk away before speaking. “So, do you want to know-“

“There will be time for that later,” the man interrupted. “You’ve got questions to ask me and I’ve got answers for just about all of them. If you’d like, we can make this quick. Rapid fire.”

Summer bristled. “Sure, fine. I don’t even know your name yet but yeah, go ahead and tell me the solutions to all of my problems, mister.”

The man blinked. “You don’t know who I am?” Summer shook her head. He took a long sip of his milkshake. “Well, that’s embarrassing.” He stuck out a hand for her to shake. “Indrid Cold. Pleased to meet you. Officially.”

Summer shook his hand. “Summer W—. Um, you don’t mean like… Sylvain’s court seer Indrid Cold, right?”

Mr. Cold frowned, the first time his smile had wavered. “The very same.”

“What-“

“That’s not what we’re here to talk about.”

“You can’t expect me to meet the first court seer to leave the post and the only person to ever leave Sylvain voluntarily and not ask questions about it.”

“Sure. Why don’t you tell me exactly what it was that got you exiled? Maybe then I’ll feel inclined to explain my motivations.”

Summer said nothing. Mr. Cold said nothing. The two of them sat in stubborn silence while country music continued to play faintly over crackling speakers. The minutes ticked by. Mr. Cold noisily slurped at his milkshake. Summer stacked tiny creamer cups in pyramids. The ceiling fan above their table wobbled as it spun.

“Here we go,” Mina set the plates of food down on the table with the unflappable cheeriness of a server purposefully ignoring an obviously tense situation. “Is there anything else I can get you two tonight?”

Summer shook her head.

“A refill on this milkshake would be wonderful.”

“Coming right up.”

Summer shoveled pasta into her mouth, hoping he wouldn’t try to bring up her exile, now that he was talking again. Indrid Cold seemed to be preoccupied with his own food. The Chicken farmers’ breakfast was mostly eggs with a small side of chicken strips and hash browns. As she watched, the seer folded one of the eggs in half, dipped it in the sauce he’d been given for the chicken, and slid the whole thing down his throat almost without chewing. Gross.

She looked at the five eggs left on his main plate then glanced at the smaller plate that held four more. She grimaced at the idea that she might have to watch that happen nine more times. “Someone really likes eggs.”

Mr. Cold looked at her, wiping the grease and sauce off his fingers. He waved the napkin at the extra plate of eggs. “Oh these ones aren’t for me, they’re for you.”

Summer looked back down at her plate of pasta. “Thanks, but I think I’m good.”

“You aren’t in Sylvain’s light anymore,” Mr. Cold said, as if that was at all relevant to…. eggs. “You don’t have Her energy to sustain you.”

Summer glanced around for the server, but Mina didn’t seem to be around to overhear. “Earth food isn’t really going to help me with that, is it?” She asked under her breath. “Don’t I have to find a hot spring or something?”

“That’s the most effective way to absorb life energy from this world, yes, but there are other ways.”

“What other ways?”

“It’s hard to tell with these disguises on miss W— but are you a sylph or are your ancestors mostly terrestrial?”

Summer felt the twitch of her mouth curling up in a snarl. She ignored the rude question. “How can you fight off the quell when you don’t have access to a hot spring, Mr. Cold?”

“By devouring a still living being.” Mr. Cold folded and swallowed another egg. Summer recoiled. “Yes, I know it’s not for everyone. Still, sometimes people get desperate. You haven’t been out of Her light all that long. You don’t really know how hard it can be.” The pasta felt heavy and sticky in Summer’s mouth. She forced herself to swallow, forced herself to scoop up another forkful of food. “But if you don’t want to tear a living creature to bits with your teeth, you can eat eggs.”

Summer looked at him, trying to decide if he was serious or just pulling her leg. “Eggs?”

“Eggs,” Mr. Cold answered with a nod. “Sunny side up, hard-boiled, over easy, eggs will help you hold off those feral impulses longer than any other non-living food. Eggs and sunflower seeds. You’re going to ask me why and honestly, I couldn’t tell you. It’s just one of those things.”

Summer watched him gulp down a few more eggs. She wasn’t entirely incapable of hunting for her food, if that’s what she had to do. But it would be risky for her. Would require her to take off the headband and go running through the woods or something. She scooped up one of the eggs that was supposed to be hers. Might as well give the easy way a try first. The yolk was still warm and runny. It stuck to her teeth and tongue. She didn’t like it, but she couldn’t deny the way it pushed away the fog at the back of her mind. She hadn’t even realized it was there until she felt the vague irritation of it slowly fading away.

Mr. Cold placed something on the table. “Your brother is in Wisconsin. He doesn’t know you’re coming but he’s going to be overjoyed to see you. He’s been here for quite a long time and he’ll be able to show you the ropes, so to say.”

It was an answer to a question she hadn’t thought to ask. But of course, he would know where she was going before she even did. Summer picked at her plate of spaghetti, uneasy and resentful and feeling guilty for feeling uneasy and resentful.

Indrid Cold slid the slip of paper across the table. “This is your bus ticket. It should get you where you need to go.” Summer reached for the ticket only for Mr. Cold to pull it out of reach. “I think you have something for me.”

Summer didn’t like clairvoyants. They made her uncomfortable, always knowing things they shouldn’t and acting like everyone was so predictable. The worst ones took delight in showing up at awful times to make everything about them.

She’d been banished. The crime, the trial, the sentencing, everything had taken less than a day in all. She’d stood before the gate, surrounded by guards, clutching her enchanted headband in her paws, terrified. The woman had approached her with twitching antennae and swirling wings. The shadows shifted around her and even the guards flinched and faltered as she drew near. Through the whirlwinds of fear, the instinctive need to run from this vision of power, Summer had felt a glimmer of hope. She walked with purpose and maybe that purpose was a royal pardon. Maybe this stranger had some use for Summer that could not be served on the other side of the gate. She struggled to keep her knees from giving out at the moth woman towered over her and watched her with multifaceted violet eyes.

But she hadn’t been there to release Summer, hadn’t been there to save her. She had pressed a letter into the palm of her hand with a chittering explanation “For my son. You will meet him.” And she had leaned in to whisper softly into her ear as the last of Summer’s hope wicked away, leaving her empty and drained. Summer couldn’t remember what she had said to her. She’d purposefully forgotten as soon as she could.

She pulled the crumpled letter out of her pocket, set it down on the table. Mr. Cold replaced it with her bus ticket, tucked the envelope into his pocket without reading it.

“Couldn’t you have just read the letter in the future without even meeting me here?” She said bitterly.

“Possibly,” he conceded, “but this way is more accurate. And besides, you still needed my help.” He pushed a bowl of green cubes towards her. “Here, this might help.”

Summer stared at the strange dish, tired and empty. “I don’t know what that is.”

“Summer, look at me.” Summer did. Mr. Cold smiled sadly at her. “That’s better. Now, listen, in about three hours you are going to catch this bus. It is going to be driving a very long time but by the time you are done you will be in Wisconsin. Your brother will be there to pick you up. He has a blue pickup truck and he will be very happy and very sad to see you. He will recognize you immediately, even in your disguise. He will run to you and give you the biggest hug. The two of you will drive back to his house. It will be sad and it will be lonely, but the two of you will not be alone.”

Summer nodded. She believed him, at least. She didn’t like him, didn’t like seers, but she knew that he had to be telling her the truth.


End file.
